I stumbled across the History Channel a while back and after reading the offerings and watching a bit of it, I realized a phenomenal paradigm shift has occurred in the American version of History. All "scholarly" works used as reference are religious books, which means a station that calls itself "The History Channel" only covers things that happened in the last few thousand years. And amazingly enough, Jesus and other religious figures are not descended from humans or apes. They're fucking aliens! The whole channel is devoted to aliens. Seriously. All you Jesus worshippers. He's some dude from outer space! And has anyone asked him for HIS birth certificate or proof of citizenship? Seriously, you know he's just got to be an ILLEGAL alien. You better ask for those papers before he starts bringing his whole damn family to this planet.
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