Today begins day one of the War On Christmas. You haven't heard of it? I'm not surprised as it's drowned out by all the Christian Christmas Crap
music blaring out of every speaker in every store. It's really difficult to even know there's a war on Christmas when the stores start getting ready for it the day after Thanksgiving by hanging religious cult symbols all over the place. I perfectly understand how you could even miss there's a war on Christmas when everywhere you look, everything you hear, every place you go is an overload of Christmas crap. But it's a war, I tell you, a real war. Just turn on the TV (that ancient thing gathering dust in the corner) and watch some of the maniacal talking heads on one of those funny shows that call themselves "News." I guess the real meaning of News is "not even worth seeing," but really you should watch just for a few minutes and see there really is a war on Christmas. All those hysterical shrieking boring, ugly old white people couldn't possibly be wrong now, could they?
So, I'll do my part to be their loyal opposition because without an opposing side, there can be no war. I will be that side and I will give to you twelve days of my own personal war on Christmas.
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