Welcome to the Crazy Ass Bear's Find of the Day

There be weird monsters beyond this point and most of them go by names such as Teahadists, Palibanists, Morans, Goposaurs, Tealiban, and Al-Qrazy. I'll share some of the silliest ones who deserve to have a light shined on their stupidity.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Religion, the Ultimate Crazy Pill

Just about everyone is familiar with the crazy religion-infested screeching bundle of hideousness from the show "Trading Spouses." She's become the poster child for whacked out christiand, and she always shows up on YouTube videos demonstrating the hazards to brain and sanity that religion inflicts on the terminally stupid. My favorites change from week to week, and this is my current favorite: the god warrior crazy lady meets metal.

You know how religion demands you wear their brand? Have your point of view represented with a scarlet A for Atheist necklace.

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Friday, June 1, 2012

Jeezus Hearts Atheists

Do you know what is creating more atheists every day? It's not godless heathens like myself. It's not that pile of scary devil shaped dust bunnies under the bed. It's not satan sneaking up to you in the middle of the night and whispering sweet heretical nothings in your ears. It's not some poor snake offering you an apple because you look hungry. It's your own damn jeezus and his dumbshit little minions that's responsible for the sudden and open rise in Atheism. Watch the RomneyBot pander to the worst of the hateful little wingnut fucks who hide their bigotry and racism under the white hood of Christianity. Then ask yourself how horrible crap like this makes a a huge majority of people feel they don't have a place in this party, much less in a country run by this creepfest of a candidate for President? Atheists don't have to go knocking on doors for converts* because speeches like this do a far better jobs of sending reasonable and sane people running away from religion and toward the safe harbor of intelligent independent thought and atheism. *Atheists don't really go knocking on doors because we don't care what you believe as long as you leave us alone.
The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Constitution Is Not The Declaration of Independence

"What the Religious Right doesn't tell people, and what, tragically, many Amer­icans apparently don't know, is that when it comes to determining what the laws of the United States mean, the only document that matters is the Consti­tution. The Constitution, a completely secular document, contains no references to God, Jesus or Christianity. It says absolutely nothing about the United States being officially Christian. The Religious Right's constant appeals to documents like the Declaration of Independence, which contains a deistic reference to "the Creator," cloud the issue and make some people believe their rights spring from these other documents." From From Legacy Of Freedom by Rob Boston

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Business Of Jesus

The other day I had a very interesting discussion with an atheist who thought it was a bad idea to tax churches. His reasoning was that with taxation comes representation, and that once churches are taxed then they would demand to be represented in government.

Represented? How much more represented can they be? Every President  has had to drag his religion behind him like some public cross in order to get elected. We have never had a Jewish President, nor in spite of the silly claims by the knuckledragging baggers, a Muslim President (sorry folks, but he's a Christian), nor a Hindu, Buddhist, Pagan, nor any other group professing any kind of belief in something "out there" that wasn't Christian, and we've certainly never had an atheist President.

We do have churches who spend more money outside their congregations buying politicians, trying to keep gays from getting married, and trying to influence what goes on in our bedrooms, what we watch on TV and the movies, what we read in books and what we learn in school, than they do on their own members. If we're going to tax churches, let's start by taxing money that is not spent on church members. That leaves most of what they rake in using god as their cover story.

And speaking of money outside the churches, how about taxing the profits from the business end of the churches? No organization that hides behind tax-free status should be allowed to accumulate untold wealth in what are strictly business investments. If they sell something, whether it's books, bumper stickers, real estate, bonds, stocks, anything that gives them a return that is not put back into the membership, then that is income and should be taxed. Especially if it's blatant crap like  THIS.  Jesus would slap your greedy asses to hell if he existed.

Basically if a church is not devoted to helping the poor, the homeless, the sick, the orphaned, then they have strayed from the path that led to tax-exempt status. And if they're spending millions to interfere in the rights of other people, then every dime of that should be taxed. If they're spending millions to subvert the civil and equal rights of any minority, then not only should they be taxed but they should also be fined. And if in return churches demand a seat at the government table, then do it openly and honestly and become a political party and let the people vote on exactly how much representation churches get at that table.

But most of all, if churches are going to demand everyone follow their ideology and agenda, then they have to prove they have the numbers to lead the way, and right now the only thing standing in their way is religion, or rather...lots of religions. Before any one religion can rule, they have to take out their own competition and that means they have to make war on each other, kind of like Romney-Mormon and Santorum-Catholic are doing now. I cant' see Romney worshipping the Pope anymore than I can see Santorum wearing magic underwear. And I haven't even included the absolutely mind fuck crazy Baptists in there who believe both of them belong to cults.

But when the dust settles and if there is a winner instead of a whole bunch of beat up losers, then tax the crap out of them until they keep their religion inside their churches and homes and out of our governments, schools, libraries, universities, laboratories, and bodies.

The Rap Guide to Evolution

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Jesus and James Tillich

Who is James Tillich? Here is his story told to his best friend and life-long confidante, Paul Ewing.

James Tillich was born in a college philosophy class in December of 2006. A student suggested the name "James Tillich" as an incorrect option on part of a hypothetical test question. Upon hearing the name "James Tillich" the instructor burst out laughing and said, "There never has been a James Tillich." He immediately went over to the computer and Googled an exact word search for "James Tillich". Both instructor and class were amazed when "No results found" popped up. Later that night one student searched both English and German databases. Results? Zip. Nada. Nechevo. Nothing. There was no trace of such a person ever having existed. The instructor decided, "Well if he never existed, then I'll create him."

James Tillich now has a Facebook page, twitter account, blogs, MySpace, and his art, photography, and videos can be found in many places online. Every year, on March 15, the Ides of March, his devoted non-followers Google his name at precisely 11:30 pm and therefore add to his non-existence, which now numbers in the millions.

What fascinates me about this whole process is how easy it was to create an online identity for someone who never and still does not exist. He will most certainly be running for President too although you won't find him on any ballots because, well...he just doesn't exist in the kind of form that can go and shake hands and get himself bought by corporate lobbyists. He's more of a behind the scenes kind of guy.

But the most fascinating thing about all this is its parallels to the creation of another meme who never and still does not exist, but he was created the same way as James Tillich, and that's Jesus. Think about it. It's the exact same process using different tools and for different purposes, but the end result is the same: something that does not exist but attracts a lot of people who put effort into making others think it does.

The difference here, and it's a crucial difference, is that James Tillich was created out of a sense of fun and also the desire to educate others about what really constitutes truth in the material world. It's fun designing t-shirts for Mr. Tillich. I love putting together a whole set of campaign swag for him to run for president. There's a spirit of camaraderie, much as patients in an institution share over having pulled one over on the staff.

And if a thousand years from now someone tries to form a religion around his mythical non-beingness, they won't find any hateful agenda, any controlling body of haters, any words used as weapons to subjugate and control because James Tillich was not the creation of some medieval douchebags sitting around trying to figure out how to control anyone who wasn't male, white, and evil.

James Tillich will never inspire the kind of followers the creators of Jesus inspired because James Tillich's only agenda was fun and it continues to be fun. And also to demonstrate that even if someone has over a million links to him on the internet, it doesn't mean he exists anywhere else but cyberspace,  or in the minds of the terminally weird, strange, and mentally deranged. And the religious. Let us not forget the religious whackjobs for without them, we'd have only boring reality and they'd have only each other to annoy. And there'd be no need to create James Tillich to remind them to lighten up, already. There's room on this planet for everyone's hallucinations to live in peace and harmony.

The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Waking Up The Majority

For most of my adult life I've made no secret of my atheism. I came to it honestly by being someone who prefers to do my own thinking, and who has a healthy disdain for those who set themselves up as the filters for someone else's life experiences.

I've never tried to convert others to atheism because I don't need to. I'm satisfied with it. It completes me and gives me a moral and ethical base that is not dependent on anything outside of myself. I don't have religion as an excuse so I have to answer to myself, to that person in the mirror who asks, can you live with the consequences of your actions?

Before I act, I'm always aware I have to answer not only to myself, but also to the people I love and cherish who would be hurt by my actions or who would feel unloved or unappreciated or wronged by them. In place of the bible, I have kindness, I have compassion, I have love, and I have a never ending quest to be the most unselfish, more caring person I can possibly be before I leave this life. I aspire to be good not for a god or for a religion, but because I see that as an admirable goal to accomplish as a human being.

As an atheist, I can't run to a preacher to beg forgiveness so I have to draw on my personal knowledge of right and wrong,  and like every creature on this planet, those experiences were learned and stored from material specific to us and who we are, and who we were, and who we will become. Religion takes away the immediacy of those lessons and turns them into excuses. I always felt it was important to keep them close at hand so they would be available when needed.

With all the information and knowledge I've accumulated in my lifetime, there's plenty to draw from in order to resolve just about any human dilemma I'm faced with, so I don't need to sit in a church and have someone use those experiences to justify their own agenda.  I don't need to go knocking on doors, or preach from any pulpits, nor go anywhere to convert supposed savages that are already perfectly content with what they believe or don't believe,  and who don't need me interfering in their lives with my personal agenda.

My relationship with religion and its followers has been one of not caring what people believe as long as they didn't try to force it down the throats of others against their will. As an educated person I am informed about the legal right bestowed upon the citizens of this country to freely practice their religion, and also to be free to not practice any religion. And because I actually studied history instead of getting it regurgitated second hand by some pulpit pounder with a political agenda, I know that the worst tyranny a government can inflict on a people is legislating by religion instead of law.

Like many people in this country who were and continue to be perfectly content with our beliefs or lack of them, I became complacent. Because I didn't force my biases, my points of view, my agenda on others, I believed those  who were religious would be content with being allowed to practice their beliefs and leave me alone.

Then along came Religion as a political party. Whatever god  believers prayed to took second place to the political agenda that grew out an ignorance that saw no other truth but their own, and a cabal of wealthy bankster funded politicians who saw the poorly educated and easily led as a tool to promote their own agenda. It was a lot like herding sheep but at least real sheep occasionally broke out and stampeded once in a while.

But not these sheep. They weren't content to live and let live. They began to demand everyone live according to their beliefs, not even seeing the complete and total stupidity of thinking everyone was just like them. In their world, everyone was just like them. They were all white or all black or all Christian or all some other religion, cultist, or party member. Diversity has and always will be a threat to those who need everyone around them to look and act just the same.

But even seeing this, even seeing the politicians, especially the Republicans, use this to brainwash, scare, and intimidate these easily manipulated sheep-like humans to help them rob the country blind, I was still so content in my own sane world, that I failed to completely see their insanity.

Of course, I fought against the most obvious aspects of it by mocking it, by turning it into a joke, my making it seem like something only a few not right in the head folks would participate in willingly. Religious fanatics make easy targets for just about everyone, and they can be used by other fanatics to murder, maim, and fly planes into buildings for them. I had and will continue to have fun with this side of religious fanaticism.

In spite of the seriousness of religious tyranny throughout history, I still felt the smugness of the majority and tended to ignore the real dimwit bible thumpers as insignificant. I'm still in the majority but after the last week when an organization devoted to women's health suddenly joined the war against women, it's no longer a silent majority. I have a message for the religious crazies who want to force their beliefs on everyone else.

If you crazy religious nutbags want a war, then you have it. I'm not going to sit back and make fun of you anymore without also fighting you every step of the way. I'm going to call every single one of my representatives every time one of you religious crazies try and pass a law interfering with my rights, whether they be rights to determine the fate of my own body, the books I read, the movies I watch, the television shows I choose to let into my living room. No longer will  manipulated little minions be the only voices putting pressure on politicians, charities, organizations, schools, libraries, and the media.

I'm on the other side and I will fight you with everything I have because you crossed the line this time. You took over an organization that was meant to save lives and you gave our donations to scum like Ari Fleischer  so he could direct you on how to take down Planned Parenthood. And for the record, I don't think he personally has anything against Planned Parenthood. It's the non-existent WMD's he's shoving down your stupid, gullible throats so you'll turn out and vote against Democrats so he and his Republican thugs can start a war with Iran. Yes, you ARE that stupid and he knows it and uses you like an old whore.

But guess what? By being such assholes over Planned Parenthood, you exposed yourselves. Your pretty pink ribbons have shit all over them right now. You ruined a successful and profitable corporate brand with your religious nutbaggery, and all with the advice of a man who helped run this country into the financial ditch. Great job there, Ari. Planned Parenthood will thrive and the Komen foundation will dry up and blow away.

And in case you didn't get the message, there's simply more of us than you. The last few days showed that. The Occupy Wall Street Movement showed that. You woke us up and there's more of us than you. How fucking stupid. And hell yes we're going to use our new found power against you. If your god didn't want us to, he wouldn't have made you so stupid.

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