Now that the war on Christmas has been put back in the attic along with the manger scene of single moms and their first Christian anchor babies dressed as Muslims, it's time to focus on the year-round crazies: the creationist-spouting knuckledraggers.
I can understand perfectly why they refuse to believe in evolution. It's too painful for them to admit it passed them by. They grew up being mocked on the playground: oh look, there's Bubba Dumbfuck. Everyone got a new car for graduation and all he got was a dinosaur that wants to eat him all the time.
And evolution is quite picky too. While everyone else benefitted from the evolution of medicine, the poor stupid creationists were watching their bodies rot away from leprosy and other nasty diseases.
Seriously, no one wants to date some dude who believes shit written by crazy people who thought the earth was flat, and it's even worse if body parts are falling off as they're trying to hit on that hot Atheist.
But the worst thing is that the whole world is changing around them, everything is growing and evolving and they're seriously being left behind to wallow in the ooze with the other cranially-impaired lifeforms.
But all is not lost. There's lots of fetuses to make friends with and as long as no one has to evolve, then creationist christians won't be put in the awkward position of throwing their new friends out with the trash once they're actually born and swimming on their own.
And to amuse you, here's ten rebuttals to creationist arguments. Sadly, those who could really benefit from it won't get to see it because they're stuck somewhere trying to figure out where the gas pump goes on the dinosaur.
